Long Life
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009How Old Is Grandpa?
Stay with this – the answer is at the end – it will astound you!
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events. The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.
The granddad replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.
“There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens.
“Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn’t yet walked on the moon.
“Your grandmother and I got married first-and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother.
“Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, ‘Sir’ – and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’
“We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
“Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
“Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
“Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.
“Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.
“Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends; not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, Des, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on our radios.
“And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.
“If you saw anything with ‘made in Japan’ on it, it was junk. The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee were unheard of.
“We had 5 and 10 cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail one letter and two postcards.
“You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas \was 11 cents a gallon. In my day, ‘grass’ was mowed, ‘coke’ was a cold drink, ‘pot’ was something your mother cooked in and ‘rock music’ was your grandmother’s lullaby. ‘Aids’ were helpers in the Principal’s office, ‘chip’ meant a piece of wood, ‘hardware’ was found in a hardware store, and ’software’ wasn’t even a word.
“And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us ‘old and confused’ and say there is a generation gap. …and how old do you think I am???”
This man would be only 58 years old!
Quote taken from www.tedgrier.com
“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged and the glory of children is their fathers.”Prov. 17:6
I do love being a grandma. We recently had our 5-year-old grandson stay at our home overnight. How delightful it is to spend those hours with this marvelous little fellow. So much life and curiosity! Every one of them are a treasure and indeed a gift from God!
Grandparents and Grandchildren chuckles
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, ‘62.’ He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, ‘Did you start at 1?’
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, ‘Who was THAT?’
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: ‘We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made From a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.’ The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, ‘I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!’
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, ‘Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?’ I mentally polished my halo while I asked, ‘No, how are we alike?’ ‘You’re both old,’ he replied.
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
‘They use him to keep crowds back,‘ said one child.
‘No,’ said another, ‘he’s just for good luck.’
A third child brought the argument to a close. ‘They use the dogs,’she said firmly, ‘to find the fire hydrants.’
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